Misspoken = Funny

Misspoken

I think it is funny when people say words wrong. It is usually older people, because they are dumb asses. I love it when people mispronounce a word, which in turn, completely changes the meaning.

Example 1:
I am in a training class for work title “Introduction to Financial Mgmt.” It basically goes over the budget process and fiscal responsibility. So the instructor seems reasonably knowledgeable on this subject, but he lost a lot of credibility with me when he repeatedly pronounced “fiscal (Pronunciation [fis-kuh l]) law” as “physical law.” Big difference.

Example 2: This one is slightly more amusing. A bunch of co-workers and I were chit-chatting about work B.S. I informed this co-worker that I ran a report and it basically told us nothing useful. He referred to it as “an act of infertility” as opposed to “an act futility.” I told a friend that an act of infertility is me having way too many gin and tonics. Now that I think about it though, an act of infertility could possibly be an act of futility.

Example 3: This is by far the best. A co-worker of mine, not old, like 24ish, had the greatest misspoken word accidents in history of misspoken word accidents. She told us a beauty of a story. Last year she was on her way to a work Christmas party with several co-workers. They were walking through a door and she was the tail end of the group. Well, apparently she does not like to open doors because of the “door-opening motion” (strange for others, normal for her). Well, the heavy door was beginning to close and fast. So, instead of putting up a paw to keep the door open just long enough she tried to sneak through, and failed. Her shoulders became wedged between the door and the frame; eventually she was sling-shot backwards out of the door and onto her butt. The people she is with already find this to be hysterical. Well, when she gets into the party the story is already being retold. As if this wasn’t an instant classic already, she sweetens it up. She informs everyone that when she fell she thought she had “broke her SCROTUM!” That’s right, scrotum. I wish I could have been there. Well, as it turns out, she apparently had misspoken. What she had meant to say was that she had “broke her Sternum.” Her excuse: “They both start and end with the same letters.” (I decided against the image of the scrotum, you are welcome)

Well, there you go. I really just wanted to tell the scrotum story. There are plenty more of these from the same source. I am planning on starting another blog devoted to this and similar stories… stay tuned. (Just kidding about old people being dumb asses)