Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Coultergeist


So there are a lot of hyperlinks in this rant. Now, to watch the videos click on the hyperlink and then on the download link next to the WMP icon.

I hate wasting my energy thinking about Ann Coulter, let alone writing or talking about her. She is a horrible human. She is filled with hate and spews it all over the place under the guise of being a conservative pundit. I did not really want to write about her, but her latest column inspired me to vent a little. This is a quote from her column on April 4, 2007:

“These people can't even wrap up genocide. We've been hearing about this slaughter in Darfur forever — and they still haven't finished. The aggressors are moving like termites across that country. It's like genocide by committee. Who's running this holocaust in Darfur, FEMA?”

This is her comment about the slaying of millions of people; women and children. She wants this genocide to speed up. Has she no soul? This must be one of her well thought out jokes. Isn’t she considered a “compassionate conservative?” I can just feel the compassion. I would like to give her a compassionate Donkey Punch!

She also says the following:
“If you want a shorter rebuilding process, then we're going to have to wage less humane wars. The enemy — as well as innocent civilians — must be bombed into quivering terror. Otherwise, we displace aggression but don't destroy it.”
Is this one a joke…? I don’t get her comedy.


Here is another wonderful quote from a speech she gave at the “Reclaiming America for Christ” conference:
“Those few abortionists were shot, or, depending on your point of view, had a procedure with a rifle performed on them. I’m not justifying it, but I do understand how it happened....The number of deaths attributed to Roe v. Wade about 40 million aborted babies and seven abortion clinic workers; 40 million to seven is also a pretty good measure of how the political debate is going.”

How in the flying hell does she still have a syndicated column. Don Imus gets fired for his racial remarks, and it was probably warranted. She has called Bill Clinton gay and Al Gore a “fag” (watch both clips on the link) and more recently Presidential candidate John Edwards a “faggot.” Although, after the Gore comment she said she was joking. Good one. I could go on and on and on and on. She is a horrible, hateful person. Imus stated that he was joking when he called the Rutgers women’s basketball team “Nappy Headed Ho’s.” He was fired; all I want is to Donkey Punch her. Is that too much to ask?

Interesting side note, the strapping young lad in the photo above was making the rounds at Fox Noise telling about his visit to a college campus. He told stories of a mob of students yelling at him and calling him a baby killer. Well, as it turns out, the fellow is a gay porn star and escort. His “acting” name is Rod Majors. Here is the actual story.

I have to give credit to Keith Olberman for the name Coultergeist. I get that joke. Here is another quick video.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Old People Suck!

There is a great line in a song by the White Stripes. It goes “I just hope I don’t act the same way by the time that I get that old.” This is in reference to him attempting to win the approval of his girlfriend’s mother, but nothing seems to be working for him. Well, I believe we can all relate to this particular line in this song. We all know old people who drive us fucking nuts. I personally know about 2 dozen, which coincidentally are all the old people I know. This may also have to do with the fact that I “literally” work in a “retirement home.” (Retirement home is the nickname I gave my cubicle area that I work in because of all the old bastards that surround me and tell stories from the “good ole days”) Here are a few things I hope to avoid when I get older.

First, I am not sure how this is, but old people must have finger nails that grow like lightening. I also do not know why they assume that public finger nail clipping is an acceptable behavior. They just clip away, at their desk, with no regard to the finger nail shrapnel flying in all directions. I never thought I might need safety glasses for my desk job. It would be one thing if this happened just once in a while, but it happens nearly every damn day! And it is not two clips and the finger nail is done. No! Each finger nail takes an average of about ten clips to shorten to the appropriate length. And each tiny clip sends off a nail fragment like a shell casing from a machine gun.

I hope to avoid constantly saying “I Says, I Says” every third sentence in a conversation. It is like I work with Foghorn Leghorn (this is the nickname I have given to this particular oldie). This is a recording from a conversation I had with Foghorn Leghorn. And here is another clip for fun.

It has recently come to my attention (thank you Michelle) that Foghorn Leghorn also has a problem with zipping up his pants. Which is enough of a problem by itself, but it is compounded by the fact that when this individual gets fired up with some random issue (like plumbing in his house or running over alligators) he has a tendency to swing that particular region of his body. At any moment in time his junk could interrupt an already unfortunate situation. Sorry if you just puked in your mouth.


Well, that is all I want to say about the oldies I work with. Actually, this is all about one person, but that does not change the fact that old people suck.